Love

My dreams have a habit of appearing when I awake
Ive had the same one for ten years and Ive yet to realize its not fake
Id like to say it was a dream about emotions
A dream about judgements
And preconceived notions
Or war Or hate
But instead
The hardest dream of all, 
Love, sits on my plate

She looks in my eyes
Deceptive but wise
Hurt but still strong and a muse for this song
I missed her the last time
and the one before that
And the one before that
And the one before that she was a soldier
Who took on mighty arms, No one could hold her
I was the same as now
Stubborn and headstrong
And my music had called her 
and she came along
And while she took it all in
A knife in the back
And she passed from this world as her body went slack

The time before that she was a writer
Who could woo all the masses
Her words could transform from honey to molasses
From gold into lead
From cotton to sugar
She was the best
Guess who knew her
Yes just I
The same as right now
Foolhardy Spontaneous, Stubborn, and Proud
She heard my voice from afar
Sad and wailing
Misunderstood and demanding
And she sat and she listened and wrote one word on the paper
Then she vanished from sight and I searched for my savior
The one word held no consequence to anyone but me
And as I read it again
and again
and again
I believed
She was talking about me and that seemed far fetched
The word on the sheet was just simply
Blessed

This time around I caught her and lost her
She searches for me though I sit right beside her
And while Im still the same
guilty
ashamed
beholden to pain
makes me sit out in vain
She's only gotten better
A little hurt cause Im lost
and A little worn from
and a little worn from the cost
A little tired and timid
She believes in the me and the now that we live in
I start to understand since she wont let me go
I dont want to go anywhere
I just want to find home
I want her there beside me
I want to lie down to dream, and my dreams aren't just inside me
I want to be strong and be brave and be proud
That the woman Ive found 
That Ive written
and fought for
Is real
and Im smitten
and Its brought more of me out
Freed now
I see the new meaning now
I see the new story
I see the new part
Im excited
and It hurts
But I live for the heart